I'm sorry I haven't been updating like I should. I have sort of become afraid of my face and a part of me if afraid to post pictures because I still don't know what I think about it.
I'll start off with the last few days and then post pictures (maybe)
I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping sitting up because the amount of drool I get all over myself if outstanding, not to mention its actually some nasal fluid leaking out of my sinuses that smells like something died. It's horrible.
I stayed at Sean's under the care of him and his momma on Sunday night and on Monday morning he drove me to the surgeon.
Good news, I get to brush my teeth again, and I can sleep laying down. He says 2 pillows but if I'm having a hard time then just get comfortable. He said the only risk is my eyes might swell which would freak me out in the morning but I would be fine.
I came back home last night. A part of me likes the changes and a part of me misses my old big jaw.
I know that this face is more girly than my old face, but something about the way I used to look makes me sad when I look in the mirror now.
It's hard to tell what is and what isn't swelling at this point because it's so early on. I really want to imagine myself without the swelling and see my jaw line.
I feel that although some people at my stage have a lot of swelling, that some people already look way better than I do.
Here are the movements
Lower Jaw: 6mm back
Upper Jaw: 3mm impaction of some sort, I think it was brought forward and up
Chin: 3mm up and 3mm forward.
Cant on lower jaw: 0.5mm correction.
I do have an idea bite now, and my teeth look huge, but I'm just not used to it.
I want to feel normal but i'm still bruised and swollen and my face doesn't move when I talk.
It's freaky.
I'm lucky though in the sense that everyone has been really good with me, I'm so scared to be criticized about something I can't change back. I've sort of been avoiding a lot of contact just because I don't want people to think "oh wow look what she did to her face, or god forbid say, she looked better before. And sometimes the people we know best can be the most critical.
I mean I'd like my face if the swelling was gone but I don't think I'm done with my face.
I wanted to fix my nose years ago and I still see things I want to change about it. My nose has widened and I want it back to the width I had it before, this nose just doesn't feel natural to me. Then again I'm still swollen.