Cha cha cha Changesssss

Sorry I haven't updated.
I am a bad bad blogger!!!!

Anyway I'll do a big super update soon.
Just wanted to tell everyone I'm still alive.
My dogs got shaved.
I'm writing exams again
as per usual

I'm seeing my surgeon on monday!!!
YAY

I'll update next week
promise!!!

Terra

Jaw Surgery Roundup (Before and After)

Dear Readers,

First off I want to say thank you to everyone who reads my blog, who messages me, who added me on facebook (send me a fb message if you're adding me to let me know you're a jaw buddy) and to everyone who has been blogging. Without you guys I don't know how I would have gotten through this.

I am happy to say I am almost 8 weeks post op. I had an appointment with my surgeon today and first I will update on that...

He took a look at everything and he said that I still have a lot of tightness in my lower gumline which is impairing some of my movement and probably some of my feeling. He told me to eat spicy food, chew cinnamon gum, and keep making kissy faces, he said all those things help stimulate the sensory nerves and bring feeling back. He also wants me pushing my tongue down behind my lower lip to stretch it. I'm also allowed to massage my chin to help get feeling back. Otherwise he said everything is looking good. I still have more swelling on the left side than on the right. I picked up my xrays today to send to the insurance company. It's amazing to see how different my face is and all the screws. I have 26 screws and 5 plates. I can feel one of the screws just under my eye.

Clearly the after picture is a little closer but you can also see how narrow my nose used to be. Now my nose looks huge in comparison. 

My nose is straighter now though. I don't have as much of a dorsal which is nice. It also doesn't droop as much. 

Here you can see that my chin is shorter and its more square than pointy.  

Overall I feel like I look really different when I look in the mirror.
Personally I think I could live with what the surgery has done to my nose but I'll probably change it.
I've never had to think about making my nose narrower before because it was so narrow but I'll probably take it in a little and have the bone shaved off and broken to give a softer side profile and to get rid of the dorsal. I'm still adjusting to the new chin. I do miss my pointy chin but I appreciate the more feminine chin. I think I look less manly now lol

I know it makes no sense that I have these issues with my nose, but we've just never been good friends.
I can't wait to get these braces off as I can't wait to whiten my teeth. My pre braces pictures show me with a glowing white smile, and after 2 years in braces and jaw surgery that smile is not so white anymore.

GOOD NEWS!!!
My surgeon says my bite looks really great and that he usually allows braces to be removed from 4 months and on after surgery. Well I'm going to see him in February and that is 4 months post op so I might get the okay to have my orthodontist remove the braces!!

I mean I do love my braces, we've been through a lot together and they have really changed my smile, but I can't wait to look like an adult again.

Well we're leaving for Australia on Sunday so I'm hoping to do an update video before that. I'll try to update while I am away. I'll be gone for almost a month so hopefully by the time I return the remaining swelling will be gone.

I'm starting to be able to make faces again. Although it hurt a lot to make this one.

The open bite is back!!

Look at this!!
The open bite is back!!! yayyy
6 WEEKS UNTIL JAW SURGERY!!!!!

More setbacks. Will this surgery even happen?

News:

Went to the ortho today. Second time going in for this adjustment. Turns out they need to remove all my bottom brackets and move them. They didn't have time today so I'm going in on monday. Right now I have clear elastics and I'll let you guys know how they discolour.

Starting to really think this surgery isn't going to happen in the fall. My bite closed more. It's at 1mm right now for some reason. My surgeon needs 4 mm and it's continued to close even with all the changes my ortho is making. I don't know why this is happening but I'm not going to make any big plans for this fall since my surgery may very well not happen. I really want to go to australia this year either way so I'm hoping I get an answer soon so I can book my flight.

Thanks everyone for being so supportive. I originally wanted to write a very upset and angry post but decided not to because it's not going to change anything.

My ortho also tried to talk me out of surgery after all this. He said that it would be easy to get the bite a bit better with just braces. It's like he forgot that i'm not having this surgery to look good. I want to not grind, and not have tmj pain, and have room for my tongue, and be able to breathe through my nose.
Okay I'm starting to get upset again. I'll try to post a video soon.

My journey thus far...

STATS

Jaw Surgery in 99 days
Blog Views: almost 70, 000
Youtube Views: over 260, 000
Youtube subscribers: 647
Blogger Followers: 87

It's amazing how many people have been following my journey.
Thank you so much.

I'm seeing the ortho tomorrow and I better get some good news.
Wish me luck guys!

xoxo Terra

Braces, jaw surgery, and how it effects us

Hey guys.

I've been posting more than usual lately, and not only about jaw surgery.
A part of me feels like this blog is my life escape right now.
I can't express how grateful I am that I have a place to go, talk about all the things I feel and all these issues, and not be judged, or criticized.

So many of us know that in our day to day lives people can't understand what it's like to go through this process. We haven't all had anyone to confide in about our fears, our disconnection with ourselves, and our adjustment to all the changes. A lot of us have dealt with family, friends, and loved ones who do not understand, and have if anything ended up feeling more alone because of that.

I want to say that to anyone who is frustrated with your appearance, with your jaw, with how if effects your speech, and the pain both physical and mental that goes along with it, you are not alone.
I have to say more so than the TMJ pain, and the braces, the headaches and the neck pain, sometimes the worst pain is the pain you feel inside. I felt like after years of learning to love myself the way I was, and learning to ignore my speech impediment, and my convex profile, my open bite, the lisp, I really felt like I learned to accept that all. After that struggle, being faced with jaw surgery is a whole struggle in itself, and to some of us it becomes an undoing of all the accepting we've had to do to be content in our own skin.

I started this process nervous but excited at the prospects of having a functional jaw, and an ideal profile. I was so excited to see all the before and after pictures, and to see how happy people become once it's all over. the excitement lasted a while, but then it started to change. It started to turn into fear and anxiety. Was I doing the right thing? My face started to change with the braces. It became hollow at the centre, and I felt like I didn't recognize myself anymore.

I went through a very dark time. Around this time last year I had been in the braces for a couple months, and I started to really lose any connection to myself. I started to feel insecure, and I obsessed with the braces, with every feature on my face, with the changing of my bite. I felt like no one could love me like this.

It sort of feels like being haunted by yourself. You feel isolated because the people around you don't understand what you are going through. At least the people around me didn't understand. You count the days, hours, minutes. You want the time to go by faster and faster because you are waiting for your life to come back, your life before jaw surgery, and checking the blogs and the forums and youtube, and facebook. The searching for information, and similar cases, and surgeons.

It becomes madness.

I'm sure not everyone has had it like this. I'm sure some people have had the supportive family, or friends, the supportive boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, or husband. Be grateful for those people.

I remember the days when I didn't know the extent of my jaw issues, before I knew I had TMJ issues, and that orthognathic surgery would correct my speech impediment, before I knew that there was so much more to it than just my teeth closing. When my profile would look better, and before I knew it would give me a chin. Those were the days. I remember looking into rhinoplasty to correct the convexity of my nose. I wish that was really the only issue because it would have been so easy to get a nose job and go on with my life.

14 months in braces, 8 teeth pulled, and still waiting for double jaw surgery, genioplasty, and gum grafting surgery. Thats not to mention braces back in high school to compensate for my bite. Could any process be longer? Really? Is it possible to have to wait any longer for a surgery?

Could this post get any worse? any more depressing.

Well no, it won't, and I'll tell you why.
Out of all this depression and confusion I learned a lot. I learned that I became really mean to myself. That I told myself I was ugly, and that my hollow face, my lisp, and all the pain I feel was all my fault.
I needed to give myself a time out!


Today I realize this. No matter how my face turns out, I am doing the most I can because I love myself. And remember, you are doing everything you can because you love yourself too!
when you wonder if you're making the right decision look at it this way, you deserve to be happy, you deserve every opportunity to increase your quality of life, you deserve this surgery.
I mean that in a good way.

I've met so many people in this jaw surgery community, and I have yet to meet even one person you wasn't an amazing, sweet, and wonderful person. You are all so amazing. Each and every person I have talked to, who has commented, or talked to me on facebook, or on youtube, or through email, you are all so wonderful and you deserve to have an amazing outcome from all of this.

Instead of detaching from myself, I'm detaching from the artificial hopes of becoming someone perfect after this surgery. I just want to be a better version of me. I want to be Terra without the braces, and without the lisp, I want to be Terra with the beautiful smile. That is it.

Thank you blogger, youtube, facebook, archwired, jawsurgeryblog.com, and every other means that I have been in communication with this wonderful community. I can't wait for the day when the braces come off and I can go back to being me, but I really couldn't have even gotten this far without all the amazing support out there. We are so lucky to live in an age with all of this. Don't be scared to share your story, because someone out there with a story similar to yours is looking for someone to relate to.

<3

Terra

Summer Days

Hey everyone,

I feel so much better this past week than I've been feeling in a long time.
It's finally getting warmer in Toronto, and I feel like everything in my life is starting to go the way I wanted it to.
I find a good spring cleaning is a big help. When my space is a mess I can't get anything done.
I'm trying to figure my expenses all out since I want to make sure I can cancel all my un-needed payments  when I go to Australia.


Ohhh I almost forgot, I got a syringe from the medical supply store. The man working there said I could buy pretty much any width of tubing for it but he suggested one that would let the most liquid through and would probably work best for when I am wired. I'll have to do a post closer to my surgery date with a list of the things I have gathered so far and where I got them from. Considering I live in Canada, my international friends may have trouble locating some of these places but I'm sure you have similar (if not better) substitutes.

I've been slowly getting my hair to lighten. I also trimmed it last night. I've added in a lot of blonde in the ends but I'm going to lighten the whole thing by a couple shades in a month or two. The ends took a beating so I gave my hair a trim. I'll probably upload a video on youtube next time I trim my hair because I know all my friends hate the idea of going to get their hair cut, in the fear of having way too much cut off. I've been trimming my hair every 6-8 weeks and it's growing in longer than thicker than it has the past couple years.

Oh, I also almost forgot that I am seeing my orthodontist tomorrow.

I've been wearing my elastics all the time now, I had lost one pack and way running low, I didn't want to drive all the way out to my ortho who is outside the city, and I live downtown, so I searched and found the pack I had thought I lost.
I think these elastics are making my sleep apnea worse because I did  have an episode the other night that woke me up, that hasn't happened in a long time. One night I forgot the put my elastic in and I slept really well and woke up on 7 hours of sleep feeling well rested. With the sleep apnea, I can sleep for 11 hours and still be tired. I'll have to talk to him about this when I go in. I feel like I'm starting to look like my betta fish who clearly suffers from an underbite lol.

Other than that, not too much excitement.
I'm seeing Armin Van Buuren next weekend which will be pretty awesome.
It's Victoria day long weekend, or May 2-4, as most of us know it.
Maybe we'll get a beach day in too, otherwise it'll still be awesome to do something fun for once.

Health, fitness, jaws, and accounting

Story of my life.

Anyway I just wanted to update, the website I have been using to get my workouts is having a 30 day challenge. They post videos for the month including fitness tests to help you get in better shape in 30 days. It's FREE!!! Okay no excuses!!! Anyway here is the link so check it out if you want to get in shape.

MAY 30 DAY CHALLENGE - BODYROCK.TV

My eating has been pretty good, still staying on the healthy side. I feel thinner in the sense that pants are fitting better and I don't look bloated.
My thighs have gotten thicker over the years from running but I notice that I do have more muscle mass and at a higher weight I look thinner than I used to because of this.

I start summer school in a week. Taking one of my tougher financial accounting courses. This course is really important for when I get my accounting designation so I wanted to make it the focus when I had time.

Jaws are being a pain as usual. TMJ is super swollen. Do any of you notice that when you feel the TMJ you can feel the disk on the outside, like a little bump that moves when you put pressure on it? I guess its still inflamed.

I see my orthodontist in 2 weeks and we're going to talk about where my bite is, the possibility of moving my surgery up, and also finding an orthodontist in Australia to complete my treatment.

Well thats about it, the weather is horrible in Canada. My short lived summer before summer term is pretty much over and it hasn't even been warm enough to run outside.

Braces Pictures

Just decided to take some quick pics of my braces before bed and post it. I'll see if I can find a comparison from before the last adjustment.
I'm going back to the orthodontist on May 15th.
I uploaded a video on youtube too.

DAY 2: workout and fitness plan

Hey guys,

Last nights post was really long, sorry about that.
Today I am super sore, but I can feel muscles in my legs!!
Keep in mind though they have just been sleeping, lol.
Today this has been my diet so far:

• Banana
• Lemon water
• Salad : I'm trying to follow the skinny bitch approach to starting early in the day with things like fruits and not having carbs until dinner. I'll tell you guys more about it another time. It's another great book that I highly recommend if you don't know where to start. 

Salad Recipe:

• 4 handfuls Mixed greens
• Few pinches of sprouts, it helps so much with getting all the ingredients tangled onto your fork. 
• 1/2 cup of chick peas (more if you like)
• Mini cucumber
• 4 mini Tomatos
• 1/4 cup dried blueberries
• couple spoons of fetta cheese (low fat)
• Twisto snack crackers (as crutons)
• 1/3 avocado
• 2 tbs olive oil
• 2 tbs balsamic vinegar
• pinch of salt
• pinch of pepper

I'll attach a photo when I upload it, right now there is a giant spider chilling in my room so I don't want to go in there. 

Workout plan today

• 20 minutes yoga, from the book I talked about in my last post
• 7km run

I'm going to do another cross training workout and will post this later today, haven't decided on one. 

The run was hell today, my legs were so sore I felt like I was moving in slow motion. I think I'll take a break tomorrow and head to the gym and do the elliptical or something instead. 

I weighed in at 115 this morning. I'm probably going to stop weighing myself once I get around 105 because I find that we become fixated on the number, that in no way determines how strong we are. 

My goal is to build muscle and be lean. I want to see definition. I know this will take a long time, but you have to start somewhere. 

I feel more alive when I work out and eat healthy. 

Have a great day, 

Terra

DAY 1: workout and fitness plan

Hey guys,

I said I would keep you all posted on my workout plan once I was done my exams.
Well I'm done and I'm not going to make any excuses.
I want to be healthier and in better shape and today is the day I'm doing it!!

So first off, I have to admit I work up this morning and did not at all feel like working out. I slept for 13 hours. YES 13 hours!!! I didn't realize how tired I actually was. I woke up at 1pm and thought I was seeing things when I saw the clock.

I had pretty much zero sleep the night before. I was up almost all night studying and then tried to sleep for an hour or two but that didn't really happen. I got up, got dressed and went to school early to write my exam. After that I headed to the hospital to see my grandmother and give my aunt a break who was there overnight with her. Since my grandma, or Nonna as I call her, has Alzheimer's disease, she can't be left alone in the hospital, so someone always needs to be in the room with her. Anyway I headed over there and luckily her sister came to keep company as well. We stayed there all day and on the good side my Nonna was doing really good. We got her to eat a bit, and she hasn't been eating, she moved a little more, and she was just acting more like herself. Anyway really good news is that her tests all came back and they couldn't find anything seriously wrong so she got to come home today! YAY
Oh and my fish no longer has swim bladder. I had to put her on a diet of peas, and it worked, she's the crazy little fish I remember.

Nonna wearing my sunglasses because she didn't like the lights in the hospital.

Anyway aside from all that, I didn't start out with the best diet today because there was nothing healthy in my house, so I took the dogs to the park, came back and went shopping.
This is pretty much what I ate today.

• Kashi crackers with hummus (15 maybe)
• Guacamole Tortilla chips (10)
• Ensure high protein
• Banana
• Other fruits
• 5 walnuts
• Ice coffee

Yeah that totally doesn't sound like a proper diet. But by the time I got home, I cleaned out the fridge and get ready to go running. I usually do about 10 km but I didn't go that far, probably cut 3 km off because it was getting dark and it was freezing. I have a thing where I hate having my legs hot when I work out, so I was wearing shorts, and a t-shirt with a zip up sweater. When I left my house I swear I didn't think I would warm up at all. I ran maybe 2km before I wasn't freezing anymore. I was going to do the full 10 km but I didn't because the sun was so close to the horizon and I live in a big city with lots of weirdos, I don't need to be running in the dark on a dark trail. Anyway I ran and came back to a big class of lemon water. 

I took a couple hours to clean my room and settle down, then I did one of the bodyrock workouts. I swear I thought I was going to die at some points but I just kept going. It's 1000 reps and although I could have modified I just did it. Heres the thing, you want to get in shape, you aren't going to get in shape by being easy on yourself. If you are going to run 10km, run the damn 10km, don't cry over not being able to run fast enough, and if you have to walk for a bit just do it, just make sure that however long it takes, you do the 10km. Same thing for these workouts. There were parts of the bodyrock workout where I was like f*this after 10 reps, but I would breathe for a few seconds and keep going, maybe slowly, but I did the 50 reps required for each exercise. 

I have been in great shape many time. I have been in crap shape many times too. It's all up to you, you have to power to be as amazing as you imagine. 

A little history here. Keep in mind that I'm short. 5'1. 

When I was in grade 8, probably 13, I was pretty heavy, 120lbs, maybe a little more. 

This doesn't sound like a lot, but when you are as short as me with a super tiny bone structure, and you have no muscle mass, you just look blubbery. I was eating a lot of crap, and I didn't exercise. 

When I started high school I wanted to be a different person, I didn't want to relive my childhood, hating the way I looked. The summer before high school, I started watching what I ate, I probably dropped 10lbs but I started to feel really good. When highschool came around I had my entire diet changed. I was so strict with myself I still remember what I ate. Breakfast would be cereal. Then lunch was either a protein bar or a sandwich. For dinner I would try to keep it healthy, usually salads and things like that. 

Anyway over the year I dropped even more weight. Before summer I was under 100lbs. At my lowest I was probably 80lbs but that id another story for another day. I was working out a lot. I did yoga everyday, and just had a whole routine, I probably worked out for 4 hours a day. 

I am in no way saying that isn't extreme, and its not over doing it. What I am saying is that I was that fat kid. I was that totally out of shape lazy ass person who ate crap all the time. And if I can change that, anyone can change that!!

Well for my workout routine for today, here it is:

• 7km run
• BodyRock dream body 1000 rep workout CLICK HERE FOR WORKOUT
• BodyRock killer curves
• 30 minutes Yoga Yoga book

My yoga routine is from a book I have had forever. I mean literally this thing is ancient. My dad gave it to me about 13 years ago. Actually I found it and I linked it above, its the exact book I have. I can't stress enough, yoga works!!! You will feel amazing. I just don't think it's enough on its own to get you strong. 

I am not a personal trainer, or a nutritionalist. But this is what works for me.

I kept telling myself, "after jaw surgery I'll work out, and I'll get in shape because it will be a new beginning" You know what, today is my new beginning. If I wait around for jaw surgery to be the person I want to be I'm just going to disappoint myself. I don't care if I have braces, I want a strong lean body that I can be proud of. 

P.s. You guys are all so amazing, thank you so much for all your support. I really feel blessed to have met so many amazing people on this journey. Stay strong, and things will always get better :)

Lots of love

Terra

Examssssss

Hey guys,

I swear I need time off!!!!
I've been in school for the last two years straight, including summer!!!
I have my last exam on tuesday and then i have a couple weeks before summer term :(
I felt like I could really handle all the stressors in my life, but this last year has been really hard.
Jaw surgery took a toll on me. I became really insecure about my face and I had a really hard time dealing with the changes.

My bite is still changing every day. Right now I have no contact on the right side, at all!! Not even the molars! How this is possible? I have no idea. It's making me grind more though and my jaw is killing me!!!
The left side is looking nice but thats probably from the elastics that are moving everything.

I'll post pictures and a video in a few days. I didn't really think there was a change but my boyfriend informed me today that my teeth are all angled outwards again, sort of like they were before the braces. This is good news, means they are probably aligned with the bones and thats what my surgeon wants.

This week has been a week from hell, yet again.
My fish got swim bladder and has been floating around like a little balloon. fortunately she is getting better. It's apparently common in bettas. My grandmother had to go to the ER last night, shes still in the hospital right now. I felt horrible because I've always been there every time shes in the hospital, but I had an exam today and I have another exam in another day with tons of stuff to cover. Shes not alone, but I just like to be there with her. hopefully she can come home soon.
this has all just been stress and more stress.
Everyone keep their fingers crossed that I do good on this final and that hopefully things go back to normal around here.

So grateful for you amazing bloggers!!

Hey all

sorry I've been increasingly MIA lately!!
I was pretty sick, but i'm much better now, and also pretty busy with life.
I had my orientation for exchange yesterday and its scary to think how much is going to be going on this coming year!!

I have summer starting in a week!!!
Then Jaw surgery!! Oh and my mom will be flying in for the surgery. I haven't seen her since I started Uni, since she lives across the world.
Then I'll be flying to Australia, and I'll be there for around half a year studying.

It's all really exciting!! And when I return from Aus, I'll be out of braces and rocking my new jaw when I go back to my uni in Canada.

Anyway I finish exams on tuesday and I will be starting a pretty tough workout plan. I really want to be healthy as can be pre surgery so everything goes as well as it can go. I really don't want to have to have any worries post surgery when I'm across the world.
In case you guys want to know what I'll be doing, I'll post in on my blog.
I'm going to be doing a combination of running probably 4 days a week, 1 hour each run.
I'll be doing weights at my gym. I'm also going to be doing some additional workouts from both a Nike app that I love and a really cool youtube channel I found.

I'm not really overweight, and my weight itself confuses me since my body has changed so much since I started running a few years ago. I always used to have really skinny legs, and now my legs are thick. I pretty much feel heavier from the waist down because I've built new muscles running. Last time I weighed myself I was 115lbs which is over my usual weight but expected when I've been sitting around studying, eating easter chocolate and not running early as often as I should.

I'm going to be doing a fruit cleanse. I've done it many times before. I'll probably do 3 days eating all fruit to try and rid the horrible junk from my system. I'm also going to go back to taking Vega supplement everyday with coconut milk. This stuff is great for runners. It has decreased my muscle fatigue so much.

Anyway in about a week I'll post my workout schedule and my diet plan. For the time being, its back to accounting and HR. Hope you are all doing well.

P.s. Its 175 days until my jaw surgery!!! I know thats pretty far away. But I've known I needed surgery for over 10 years, 175 days isn't much time compared to a decade.

Also, Good luck Laura!!! Sending lots of good vibes your way!!
I haven't been able to comment on everyones blogs or respond to all my comments, but I do get around to seeing everyone's posts. This blogging community means so much to me, i think it keeps me sane in the midst of all this jaw surgery stress.

Terra

Here are some pictures from last time I was in Australia
Looking forward to being back there.
I think its so important for us to have big post surgery goals, to help ease the whole process.

The longest assignment of my life

In an attempt to not go crazy, I am just making a post. I need to take myself away from this book for a moment and not go on pinterest where I will never stop pinning things. 

I'm finishing a paper that is currently close to 50 pages double spaced and still isn't done. Yes 50 pages!!!!!!!

What a way to get back into things after having a kidney infection. 

Anyway I thought I would share. 

And here are some pictures of me in all my nerdy glory. Yes I wear earplugs when I do work. 

I recorded a video but didn't get to upload it yet. Hopefully tomorrow or friday I'll have it up. 

and I'll try to take some proper pictures of my bite to show how it has changed. 

Nighty night all

Video Delay

I usually post a youtube video with every update for my youtube viewers, but I have been very lazy.
Actually its a combination.
School is busy and I did get around to recording videos for a group project that will be uploaded on my youtube. I also had to change my fishes tank since her water went all weird. and this thing and that thing, etc etc.

Anyway my teeth are very sore. I don't really know if anything moved, or if anything should be moving that fast, but my orthodontist did say that the opening part would be the easiest and much faster.
Well I'm in this one elastic and it hurts!!! My teeth all feel loose.

Oh and exchange, yes I'm trying to figure that out.
Thank you everyone for all the great comments. I get them all sent to my email which is on my phone so most of the time I read them all but can't respond over my phone.

I'll update soon when I figure more out and when I finally upload a video.

<3 Terra

The art of waiting

I decided to print screen my countdowns I use on the forum archwired.com.
As it appears, I am 10 months into braces, and 7 months away from jaw surgery.
At least I'm more than halfway there.

I have been fighting this week with the nightmares and the anxiety of having my surgery dates all changed on me once again.
The thing that is so important in this process, which I have discovered, is that nothing moves fast.
Nothing is for certain, and you pretty much have to give a couple years up to the professionals to come up with what they think should be done when.

I have been trying to gather myself, put this behind me, and just be patient until October when I will certainly be having surgery. (lets hope)
I called my orthodontists office today to see if they received my surgeons letter but they have not, which isn't surprising to me. I also asked about having my appointment pushed up, but they are closing next week and are fully booked past when my appointment is set and therefore I have to wait until March 13 (I think) to see my orthodontist. I'm going to call ahead of time and make sure they have the letter, because otherwise theres not much point, what they're doing right now isn't what my surgeon wants.

I have been on reading week this week, which is a good time to process everything.
I was hoping to get a lot more work done but have had this frustration in the way.
Today I am going to stay in and do research for a paper I have due next week, I'll be working on that over the weekend as well.

I need to take the time to sit down and decide what to do with the rest of my year.
Initially I planned to take the entire summer off and do a full course load in the fall. A lot of people in my program don't take a full course load because it means studying 24/7, its very intensive, but now as it turns out, I'm going to try to divide the load over the summer and fall and try to have all my fall midterms pushed to the finals and that way I can stay home and heal for a month as suggested before returning in november.
Well at least I get lots of time to spend with my doggies, which as you can all tell, I'm pretty obsessed with.
Tommy and Pookie are older, around 10-11 right now, so they've become a lot calmer in their senior ways than how they used to be. They like to just chill out with me as I study, and enjoying spending an hour circling the same tree over and over again at the park.

Theres something about older dogs that make them so loveable. I wouldn't ever get a puppy, unless it really needed a home. I really look forward to adopting more older dogs in the future and giving a dog a second chance at having a good life.

As for an update on my fishy girl. I got a Betta fish last weekend. She's so cute, and very active. I've going to try to care for her perfectly. Right now she has a little tank and a couple plants, but I will probably upgrade her to a decent size tank in the future, although she's a very tiny fish.

I'm still looking for an animal charity to donate my revenue sharing to. I'll have to do some research on that.....

Well now I'm just rambling. I'm going to check my email later today and get back to everyone, but first to my research.

Hope everyone is having a great friday, and a happy weekend :D

My appointment with the surgeon

I realize my last post was very short and didn't really explain much of what happened.
Anyway to start I got to my surgeons office earlier. I have to take the 401 to get there and you never know when theres going to be an accident that will delay you. My appointment was suppose to be at 2:30, then they thought it was 3, but didn't know.

To avoid as much misunderstanding as possible I went early. 2;30 passed and then 3:00 passed. By 3:30 I was about to get up and ask when I going to see Dr. C, and then someone came and called me in.

I went to his office, waited a bit longer. He came in and asked what Dr. G had said, and I told him he thinks May is ideal for surgery. I saw on one of those dental chairs and Dr C took measurements, looked at my bite, opened it, closed it, opened it, closed it. Made me stand up, opened it, closed it. He had this funny look on his face like he was trying to understand something.

He finally started to explain what was going on. He said that my bite had closed, and it should have been opened more, or worsened, as he words it. Apparently my bite got better, which is bad for surgery purposes.

I made a post about this last summer and everyone was sort of reassuring me that my bite closing mean't it was getting worse. Well sorry bloggers, you were all wrong. My orthodontist f#@$ed up, and closed my bite, or rotated my top teeth inwards. I sort of wish I had gone with my gut feeling and called them about it, because now I can't have surgery on my top jaw with my teeth in this position.

He offered to do surgery on just the bottom jaw, but since the top jaw is retrognathic, I still won't be able to breathe through my nose, or place my tongue where its suppose to go.

This is what my bite looks like now.

Well anyway I just feel disappointed. My surgeon also said that the orthodontist should have sent me in for an evaluation halfway through the presurgery braces. That would have avoided all this, but now its too late for anything.

Because of this, I have a surgery date booked for October 5th. I'm very grateful my surgeon allowed me to book a date, and trusts that my orthodontist will fix this problem and have me surgery ready in time. 

Now excuse me as I go lock myself in a room and scream. 

Another summer with my stupid jaw. 

Well, lets at least hope I'm out of braces by summer 2013. 

But I really don't want to hope. 

...........................

JAW SURGERY DATE, and some other crap

Okay so this appointment didn't go as planned. It turns out that my top teeth should have been orthodontically positioned differently (well left in an open position). At this point my surgeon cannot do surgery on the top jaw. Therefore, I will be going back to the orthodontist to have my bite reopened and I have a surgery date set for October 5th, 2012.
I'll make a longer post when I have more time.
I'm not impressed, but I'll just let it be. At this point theres nothing anyone can do to fix this issue fast enough to have surgery sooner.

New Blogger

Hey guys,

Please check out Sophie's blog if you get a chance. She in in the process of preparing for double jaw surgery and has just created a blog.
http://sophiebbraces.blogspot.com/

Thanks guys,

Terra

Finally something to say.

Hey guys.
So I uploaded a new video on youtube yesterday and I was feeling awful.
Its been so stressful lately. And I keep getting this fear that I'm not going to get a surgery date for this May.
Anyway, I finally got around to emailing my Orthodontist. I wasn't sure if I should call them or email him directly or what to do. So I sent him an email and he actually got back to me last night.
He said he's going to try to get me bumped up on the waiting list.

I guess he funnels a lot of work to them since its a super busy office. At any given moment it seems like there are 7 other people in chairs so I guess a small portion of those people get sent to my surgeon for one thing or another.

This is the same surgeon who did my wisdom teeth and he is probably one of the best here in Toronto. His surgery results are also very ideal and he has an extremely low relapse rate. I understand that along with that its very hard to get an appointment with him, but I've been told all along that I'll have a surgery date this spring so I just want to know that I actually will.

Being a full time student there are very few times I can take the time to recover since I don't really get any time between terms or over the breaks. I pretty much always have work to do in my program.
My mom is also flying in from australia for the surgery and she needs to be able to schedule the time and book her flight so having a surgery date so close to when we are planning surgery would be a huge help.

I'll respond to all my wonderful youtube comments later on today.
I really appreciate everyones kind words so much.

This process really does give you more than you bargain for, its extremely emotional and really tests your patiences.

I started this process 10 years ago, actually 11 years ago, on and off, and deciding to have my jaw surgically corrected was a very big decision. Anyone going into this should really think about it and make sure they are ready and that they have a great support group. A two year process is a very very long time.

I honestly admire all of you who got through this, and I appreciate all the blogs and videos out there of other peoples journeys. So many of you have been so nice to me and offered so much advice and information.

If anyone from Toronto is at the beginning stage and looking for an orthodontist, send me a message. My orthodontist has been amazing, and my smile has never looked so good, even if this is pre surgery.

I'm going to try to add some more informative info to my site when I get a chance and also add some awesome links I've come across.
The blogs I have posted on the sidebar are awesome. I haven't gotten all of them up there yet, but check them out because the more info you find the more assured you will feel.

Well my lecture is starting now.

Thanks everyone for being so awesome :)

Terra