Friday, April 27, 2012


Hi bloggers,

On a positive note, things are much better. Like I always say, when you have an issue you need to talk it out. Surprisingly my boyfriend was willing to talk all our old issues out and it was a lot more painless than I expected. Now it feels like relief, all is well and I am happy with my prince charming.

Anyway, on another note, my eating has been really good. I've been sticking to my healthy diet and I am fitting into clothes better already. Due to very bad Canadian weather my fitness plans haven't been the best, but the diet is a big change.

I have developed a go to salad with enough fat and protein to keep me full and prevent me from snacking on stuff all night. This is what I put in it. I think I posted it in another blog entry but here is a picture to go along.

  • Mixed greens
  • sprouts (alfalfa, onion, broccoli, whatever kind you want)
  • chick peas
  • walnuts
  • light feta cheese
  • tomatos
  • cucumber
  • avocado
  • dried blueberries
  • twistos
  • olive oil
  • balsamic vinegar
  • salt
  • pepper
I've also had a go to vegan sandwich I have come up with and I'll take a picture of that tomorrow and post it. 

In the jaw department, stress causes a lot of jaw pain, so the last few nights were really hard. It's not too bad right now which is a relief. I'm seeing my orthodontist in something like 3 weeks. 

Off to bed I go, 


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Advice please

Dear bloggers,
I am resorting to you because I feel like I have found friendships here and I need a friend right now.
I hate that it comes to this, me posting my problems on my jaw surgery blog, but unfortunately no one is available to talk to and I don't know what to do.
I've been in a relationship for going on three years if you include the time broken up.
Anyway we had some really hard times, and we both hold things against each other.
I love this guy to death but I need to ask, is it possible to put the past away and move on from this?
Right now we arent on the best of terms because I did open up the bag of worms and wanted to really look over our whole relationship, all the things that stand in the way and ask in the long run if we will be okay. He told me that he doesn't know, he feels cold feet towards it all because of all the stuff we've been through. Yet we are still together, but why?
(no one cheated or anything like that)
I'm scared but I tell myself, if this person doubts me, why am I with them, if they don't care when I cry, why am I with them. I love him to death, but the reality of this scares me.
Its broken my heart so many times and I let him back in, how do I know I'm doing the right thing?

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Braces Pictures

Just decided to take some quick pics of my braces before bed and post it. I'll see if I can find a comparison from before the last adjustment.
I'm going back to the orthodontist on May 15th.
I uploaded a video on youtube too.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

DAY 2: workout and fitness plan

Hey guys,

Last nights post was really long, sorry about that.
Today I am super sore, but I can feel muscles in my legs!!
Keep in mind though they have just been sleeping, lol.
Today this has been my diet so far:

  • Banana
  • Lemon water
  • Salad : I'm trying to follow the skinny bitch approach to starting early in the day with things like fruits and not having carbs until dinner. I'll tell you guys more about it another time. It's another great book that I highly recommend if you don't know where to start. 
Salad Recipe:
  • 4 handfuls Mixed greens
  • Few pinches of sprouts, it helps so much with getting all the ingredients tangled onto your fork. 
  • 1/2 cup of chick peas (more if you like)
  • Mini cucumber
  • 4 mini Tomatos
  • 1/4 cup dried blueberries
  • couple spoons of fetta cheese (low fat)
  • Twisto snack crackers (as crutons)
  • 1/3 avocado
  • 2 tbs olive oil
  • 2 tbs balsamic vinegar
  • pinch of salt
  • pinch of pepper
I'll attach a photo when I upload it, right now there is a giant spider chilling in my room so I don't want to go in there. 

Workout plan today
  • 20 minutes yoga, from the book I talked about in my last post
  • 7km run
I'm going to do another cross training workout and will post this later today, haven't decided on one. 
The run was hell today, my legs were so sore I felt like I was moving in slow motion. I think I'll take a break tomorrow and head to the gym and do the elliptical or something instead. 

I weighed in at 115 this morning. I'm probably going to stop weighing myself once I get around 105 because I find that we become fixated on the number, that in no way determines how strong we are. 

My goal is to build muscle and be lean. I want to see definition. I know this will take a long time, but you have to start somewhere. 
I feel more alive when I work out and eat healthy. 

Have a great day, 


Wednesday, April 18, 2012

DAY 1: workout and fitness plan

Hey guys,

I said I would keep you all posted on my workout plan once I was done my exams.
Well I'm done and I'm not going to make any excuses.
I want to be healthier and in better shape and today is the day I'm doing it!!

So first off, I have to admit I work up this morning and did not at all feel like working out. I slept for 13 hours. YES 13 hours!!! I didn't realize how tired I actually was. I woke up at 1pm and thought I was seeing things when I saw the clock.

I had pretty much zero sleep the night before. I was up almost all night studying and then tried to sleep for an hour or two but that didn't really happen. I got up, got dressed and went to school early to write my exam. After that I headed to the hospital to see my grandmother and give my aunt a break who was there overnight with her. Since my grandma, or Nonna as I call her, has Alzheimer's disease, she can't be left alone in the hospital, so someone always needs to be in the room with her. Anyway I headed over there and luckily her sister came to keep company as well. We stayed there all day and on the good side my Nonna was doing really good. We got her to eat a bit, and she hasn't been eating, she moved a little more, and she was just acting more like herself. Anyway really good news is that her tests all came back and they couldn't find anything seriously wrong so she got to come home today! YAY
Oh and my fish no longer has swim bladder. I had to put her on a diet of peas, and it worked, she's the crazy little fish I remember.

Nonna wearing my sunglasses because she didn't like the lights in the hospital.

Anyway aside from all that, I didn't start out with the best diet today because there was nothing healthy in my house, so I took the dogs to the park, came back and went shopping.
This is pretty much what I ate today.

  • Kashi crackers with hummus (15 maybe)
  • Guacamole Tortilla chips (10)
  • Ensure high protein
  • Banana
  • Other fruits
  • 5 walnuts
  • Ice coffee
Yeah that totally doesn't sound like a proper diet. But by the time I got home, I cleaned out the fridge and get ready to go running. I usually do about 10 km but I didn't go that far, probably cut 3 km off because it was getting dark and it was freezing. I have a thing where I hate having my legs hot when I work out, so I was wearing shorts, and a t-shirt with a zip up sweater. When I left my house I swear I didn't think I would warm up at all. I ran maybe 2km before I wasn't freezing anymore. I was going to do the full 10 km but I didn't because the sun was so close to the horizon and I live in a big city with lots of weirdos, I don't need to be running in the dark on a dark trail. Anyway I ran and came back to a big class of lemon water. 

I took a couple hours to clean my room and settle down, then I did one of the bodyrock workouts. I swear I thought I was going to die at some points but I just kept going. It's 1000 reps and although I could have modified I just did it. Heres the thing, you want to get in shape, you aren't going to get in shape by being easy on yourself. If you are going to run 10km, run the damn 10km, don't cry over not being able to run fast enough, and if you have to walk for a bit just do it, just make sure that however long it takes, you do the 10km. Same thing for these workouts. There were parts of the bodyrock workout where I was like f*this after 10 reps, but I would breathe for a few seconds and keep going, maybe slowly, but I did the 50 reps required for each exercise. 

I have been in great shape many time. I have been in crap shape many times too. It's all up to you, you have to power to be as amazing as you imagine. 

A little history here. Keep in mind that I'm short. 5'1. 
When I was in grade 8, probably 13, I was pretty heavy, 120lbs, maybe a little more. 
This doesn't sound like a lot, but when you are as short as me with a super tiny bone structure, and you have no muscle mass, you just look blubbery. I was eating a lot of crap, and I didn't exercise. 
When I started high school I wanted to be a different person, I didn't want to relive my childhood, hating the way I looked. The summer before high school, I started watching what I ate, I probably dropped 10lbs but I started to feel really good. When highschool came around I had my entire diet changed. I was so strict with myself I still remember what I ate. Breakfast would be cereal. Then lunch was either a protein bar or a sandwich. For dinner I would try to keep it healthy, usually salads and things like that. 
Anyway over the year I dropped even more weight. Before summer I was under 100lbs. At my lowest I was probably 80lbs but that id another story for another day. I was working out a lot. I did yoga everyday, and just had a whole routine, I probably worked out for 4 hours a day. 
I am in no way saying that isn't extreme, and its not over doing it. What I am saying is that I was that fat kid. I was that totally out of shape lazy ass person who ate crap all the time. And if I can change that, anyone can change that!!

Well for my workout routine for today, here it is:
My yoga routine is from a book I have had forever. I mean literally this thing is ancient. My dad gave it to me about 13 years ago. Actually I found it and I linked it above, its the exact book I have. I can't stress enough, yoga works!!! You will feel amazing. I just don't think it's enough on its own to get you strong. 

I am not a personal trainer, or a nutritionalist. But this is what works for me.
I kept telling myself, "after jaw surgery I'll work out, and I'll get in shape because it will be a new beginning" You know what, today is my new beginning. If I wait around for jaw surgery to be the person I want to be I'm just going to disappoint myself. I don't care if I have braces, I want a strong lean body that I can be proud of. 

P.s. You guys are all so amazing, thank you so much for all your support. I really feel blessed to have met so many amazing people on this journey. Stay strong, and things will always get better :)

Lots of love

Sunday, April 15, 2012


Hey guys,

I swear I need time off!!!!
I've been in school for the last two years straight, including summer!!!
I have my last exam on tuesday and then i have a couple weeks before summer term :(
I felt like I could really handle all the stressors in my life, but this last year has been really hard.
Jaw surgery took a toll on me. I became really insecure about my face and I had a really hard time dealing with the changes.

My bite is still changing every day. Right now I have no contact on the right side, at all!! Not even the molars! How this is possible? I have no idea. It's making me grind more though and my jaw is killing me!!!
The left side is looking nice but thats probably from the elastics that are moving everything.

I'll post pictures and a video in a few days. I didn't really think there was a change but my boyfriend informed me today that my teeth are all angled outwards again, sort of like they were before the braces. This is good news, means they are probably aligned with the bones and thats what my surgeon wants.

This week has been a week from hell, yet again.
My fish got swim bladder and has been floating around like a little balloon. fortunately she is getting better. It's apparently common in bettas. My grandmother had to go to the ER last night, shes still in the hospital right now. I felt horrible because I've always been there every time shes in the hospital, but I had an exam today and I have another exam in another day with tons of stuff to cover. Shes not alone, but I just like to be there with her. hopefully she can come home soon.
this has all just been stress and more stress.
Everyone keep their fingers crossed that I do good on this final and that hopefully things go back to normal around here.

So grateful for you amazing bloggers!!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Hey all

sorry I've been increasingly MIA lately!!
I was pretty sick, but i'm much better now, and also pretty busy with life.
I had my orientation for exchange yesterday and its scary to think how much is going to be going on this coming year!!

I have summer starting in a week!!!
Then Jaw surgery!! Oh and my mom will be flying in for the surgery. I haven't seen her since I started Uni, since she lives across the world.
Then I'll be flying to Australia, and I'll be there for around half a year studying.

It's all really exciting!! And when I return from Aus, I'll be out of braces and rocking my new jaw when I go back to my uni in Canada.

Anyway I finish exams on tuesday and I will be starting a pretty tough workout plan. I really want to be healthy as can be pre surgery so everything goes as well as it can go. I really don't want to have to have any worries post surgery when I'm across the world.
In case you guys want to know what I'll be doing, I'll post in on my blog.
I'm going to be doing a combination of running probably 4 days a week, 1 hour each run.
I'll be doing weights at my gym. I'm also going to be doing some additional workouts from both a Nike app that I love and a really cool youtube channel I found.

I'm not really overweight, and my weight itself confuses me since my body has changed so much since I started running a few years ago. I always used to have really skinny legs, and now my legs are thick. I pretty much feel heavier from the waist down because I've built new muscles running. Last time I weighed myself I was 115lbs which is over my usual weight but expected when I've been sitting around studying, eating easter chocolate and not running early as often as I should.

I'm going to be doing a fruit cleanse. I've done it many times before. I'll probably do 3 days eating all fruit to try and rid the horrible junk from my system. I'm also going to go back to taking Vega supplement everyday with coconut milk. This stuff is great for runners. It has decreased my muscle fatigue so much.

Anyway in about a week I'll post my workout schedule and my diet plan. For the time being, its back to accounting and HR. Hope you are all doing well.

P.s. Its 175 days until my jaw surgery!!! I know thats pretty far away. But I've known I needed surgery for over 10 years, 175 days isn't much time compared to a decade.

Also, Good luck Laura!!! Sending lots of good vibes your way!!
I haven't been able to comment on everyones blogs or respond to all my comments, but I do get around to seeing everyone's posts. This blogging community means so much to me, i think it keeps me sane in the midst of all this jaw surgery stress.


Here are some pictures from last time I was in Australia
Looking forward to being back there.
I think its so important for us to have big post surgery goals, to help ease the whole process.