Friday, December 30, 2011

Holiday Update

Hey guys!

So I haven't update much despite being off the past two weeks and having the time.
I feel like every time I want to get around to update I either end up having a bad jaw day or I end up getting distracted by other things and it just doesn't end up happening.

So this holiday season has been up and down with my jaw. I saw my massage therapist twice. Last week I felt good for a few days after having the massage, but this week I have a horrible migraine and jaw pain after my massage so I don't know if its beneficial or not anymore.

I've had horrible jaw pain, neck pain and headaches for the past 12 hours or so, actually longer than that because I ended up passing out almost all afternoon yesterday.
Its almost 4pm and I've been in bed all day today. I decided to try ice packs instead of hot packs and smoothies to try to numb any feeling in my face. I was going to take a T3 but decided to take extra strength Advil instead.
My current disgusting state
This christmas was a good one. I skyped with my mom and stepdad in aussie for hours on christmas eve, which was christmas day over there so it felt almost like having them here for the holidays. I baked a lot of cookies. I almost managed to get my shopping done, although i hate the last minute rush that having exams drives me into. My only blood related sibling spent christmas in Quebec so I didn't see him, it was a very quiet christmas, but still nice with the family I do have here.

I went boxing day shopping with my best friend, we got up at 6am and I'd have to say we did pretty well. 

And here are some additional photos taken over the past couple weeks.
I also went to a Tiesto Concert <3

Ugh my stupid brace face lol

My fashionista

Boxing day pre tiesto 

My jaw is shifting away

Sugar cookies 

more of my home made cookies

Sunday, December 11, 2011

TMJ and gaps

So I don't really want to be updating all the time but I really don't know what to do about my TMJ pain anymore. After my last adjustment I find my jaw is still very sore and its actually cracking a lot more than it usually does. The only real change I notice is that my midline is moving further and further apart and I feel the constant need to clench my teeth.

When I told the orthodontist about my pain he basically said that I have to go to my doctor because all he can do is put bite plates in that will probably irritate the TMJ a lot more. This is understandable as he is an orthodontist and not a medical doctor. I'm wondering if I should call my surgeon though as he is the one who will be working on my jaws? Hmmmm

I went in to see my doctor not long ago and she just advised me to keep taking any painkillers as I need them and that over the counter may no longer be strong enough. I've been taking Tylenol 3's every few days when it gets to the point that I have a migraine, otherwise I try to stay away from the painkillers.

I'm pretty worried about next term in regards to the pain. I'm starting to have more and more of those days where I am in so much pain I can't get out of bed, and I don't want to be drugged up every other day. My doctor suggested taking the term off as I might end up in a situation where I can't complete work or go to exams. I really hate the idea of taking time off school as I was initially trying to fast track (prior to knowing I would be having jaw surgery) I was willing to take this term off and go through the summer if I could have the jaw surgery earlier, but they keep setting it back.

In no way do I want to make my orthodontist sound bad, because he is great. My teeth have never looked this good, despite the underbite/open bite/cross bite lol I just wish that the timeline was more realistic at the start. Initially I was told around Christmas I would be ready and now it turns out that I won't be ready for another few months. Maybe it's just one of those things that are hard to predict but I would have liked to know this back then.

At this point all I can do is keep hoping that my teeth move to where they should be a lot faster so that I can have the surgery and hope that the pain resolves.

BTW my front teeth look awesome after the filing, the gap closed and they look perfect. The bottom teeth on the other hand now have a little gap, I don't know whats going on with my bottom teeth but at least stuff is moving.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Adjustment #4

Hey everyone
So I went to the orthodontist today for an adjustment and I still dont have a surgery date, go figure. 
Well anyway this is what went down lol
  1. Top bracket changed, don't know why or what this tooth is called
  2. New steel wires put in, these are the surgery wires
  3. Power chain on top and bottom
  4. Front tooth filed, apparently is was too wide on the bottom and too long

I have my next adjustment January 31 2012 
I also uploaded a video explaining more. 

Video update!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011


Okay my TMJ is hurting so much right now. I don't know whats going on with my jaw but I think today I will be turning to painkillers.
My doctor was talking to me about taking next term off because I've already had to defer exams due to the jaw pain. I am starting to think more and more about it and I might do that if I can get a surgery date sooner. I really want to get this chapter over with so I can concentrate on school and not have to worry about migraines and jaw pain and all that stuff.
I'll update tomorrow post orthodontist appointment

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Not enjoying the wait for jaw surgery

So I guess I'm just complaining about the same things again.
I have a lot of jaw pain going on, nothing out of the usual.
It just makes me feel like doing nothing all the time.
The headaches, the neck pain, the jaw pain, I just want to stay in bed all day.
Now the weather is changing and I feel less and less motivated to move.

I feel my bite change all the time, somedays my jaws line up better, some days they look like they're in a crossbite. I don't know whats going on but I know that the muscles in my face are sooooo tense right now and it hurts. I love having cold drinks like smoothies and just sitting with it at the side of my cheek because it sort of numbs these muscles and gets rid of the pain for a little bit.

I have a very busy term coming up next year and I am hoping I get a lot of rest when I'm done this term, which will be post Dec 17th.

I have an orthodontist appointment on Dec 7th, which is this coming wednesday, and I hope that I get a surgery date. I just hope that he looks at my teeth and says "yes they are ready!!"
We will see.

I'll probably have my next adjustment in late january or early feb more likely. which will mean my next next appointment will be pre surgery!!! yayyy!!!
I hate waiting!!

I also hate power chains, they get so dirty and collect everything I eat.
I have made it a habit to make a solution of mouthwash and water in my waterpik, and rinse my braces after I brush them to help clean the power chain and brackets, I notice this helps a bit.

I'll update in a couple days when I have my next adjustment. Wish me luck!!

Saturday, November 19, 2011


Hey everyone!
So I'm learning more and more to just accept the braces and just deal with it.
It does suck.
So I had a pretty good week, super busy but finally made time to go out and have fun for once.
I don't know why but it still surprises me when guys try to talk to me even though I have the braces.
It sort of makes me even happier for all of this to be over.
I feel like my life has changed in so many ways the past while.
The whole jaw surgery process in itself is a huge change, I was always really happy with myself and having braces and now a lisp that gets worse all the time is pretty annoying.
Oddly enough most people say its cute, meh!

I'm thinking that this next year I'm going to just really focus on myself and while going through this whole process I'm going to try to change other things for the better too.
I feel like I'm rambling.....
anyway I didnt take any pictures because I look very gross right now. My bite is so off now.

The one thing I hate about the clear braces is that when the elastics discolour it makes my teeth look yellowish. ewww
Anyway guys I go to the orthodontist on the 7th of December and I'm hoping hes like "Yes you are ready for surgery!!!"
Otherwise i'm going to go home and cry because I will never be out of these braces.
Thanks for reading my nonsense.

Monday, November 7, 2011


Hey everyone.
I promise I will respond to my comments soon.
I've been slacking

Just wanted to update,
I have been taking T3s to deal with the pain, yes I have a bunch left from my wisdom teeth surgery and I'm taking those because extra strength advil and tylenol does nothing at all now.
and I have like 5 million things due for school the next month, and I have zero time to be suffering from TMJ pain and headaches.

I really wish some people in my life understood what its like to have horrible jaw pain allll the time!!!
It takes a huge chunk of my life in a way people don't understand. the lack of sleep, the trouble focusing, the avoiding noise, and crowds and anything that makes the headaches worse.
On top of all this I really do spend all of my time on school because by the end of it i'm so tired and sore that i just want to go to my bed and lay there with a hot pack under my jaw.
I'm so tired to having to apologize to friends for not being able to go out and do things, and yes cancelling on short notice because of my jaw pain. Unfortunately I can't determine when and how much pain I'll be in on a day to day basis.

Oh how I wish I could be like any normal 25 year old, and not have to worry about this annoying jaw and keep wishing that I'll get a damn surgery date.
Never in a million years would I have thought I would WANT to have surgery, and trust me I want this so bad.
My bottom jaw is clearly on sideways now. It looks so weird. I spend a lot of time looking at it in the mirror, trying to understand why it is off to one side, how do these things happen?
Anyway my disk on one side is either sliding out or really swollen or both. I can feel it when I touch my jaw. The other side is just so beyond messed up. It feels really good to open it and hear it crack but it just ends up giving me more pain afterwards.

I do realize how lucky I am to have only a jaw issue and not some seriously illness. I am grateful for that indeed.
But this is my little rant place and when I know no one else in the world will understand, I come here.
Thanks for listening

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Less than 6 months to go!!

Hello readers and friends :)

So I just thought I would do a fast update. I went to the orthodontist a few weeks ago and had a power chain put on the bottom. My midline looks really off and my bottom teeth look like they're swooping outward. The jaw pain hasn't been too bad the last couple weeks which is nice. I haven't had to take any painkillers in a while. I realized a few days ago that my jaw surgery is in 5.something months which is getting pretty close considering it felt like yesterday when I had my braces put on, but that was over half a year ago!!!!
I'll attach some pictures just to show where I'm at.

I know I have some readers who are from other countries and I'm actually applying to do exchange in Australia in 2013. I'm looking at the university of western sydney since I wont have to pay international student fees there, I just pay my tuition to my school. I might look into some other schools too but the application process is more complicated for other schools in australia. I realized that since the term starts in jan or feb, I'll be out of my braces in time to go!!!
I'll update on how this all plays out in time.

Hope everyone is doing well and that you still enjoyed goodies despite having braces on halloween lol

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Tomorrow is a Big Day!!

Hey everyone, I've been a little MIA since its time for midterms. School has been really busy but I wanted to just update a little and also ask if anyone could vote for pookie
Just click the link and give him a vote, its a casting call for fido and pookie is just too damn cute, thought he deserved a chance, they also donate money for every vote so its all for a good cause.

Anyway, tomorrow I'm having an adjustment and I'm getting x-rays done and I'm booking my surgery!!!!
Everyone keep there fingers crossed that it all works out well.


Ok I need to know, how much time do I need to heal? Realistically how long will it be until I can go back to school? I want to have the surgery as soon as possible because the TMJ pain is so bad and the headaches are every other day now. I just want to make sure that whenever I book the surgery I have enough time to heal. Any advice would be sooooo helpful!!

I'll update tomorrow and let everyone know whats happening.
Thanks everyone for all the support, it makes this whole process sooooo much easier!!
Hope everyone is well!

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Weighing the Options...

Oh what to do, what to do....
So on the one hand, I really want to get this surgery done. Here are my reasons for having the surgery asap:

  • My TMJ pain has gotten way worse in the past 2 months.
  • My joint on one side is very swollen and sticking out, not sure what this means :S
  • I really want to be out of these braces asap!
  • Its gotten harder to chew my food without getting a migraine
  • My mouth opens about 2/3 as much as it did pre braces, if I try to open it more I hear cracking noises
  • 7 months is just too far away!!!
Ok so I guess I have to list my reasons to not push my surgery sooner and leave it for the original time I had wanted:
  • I have a full year course with a huge portion of the workload due after the holidays
  • I'll end up missing a lot of these lectures, although my TA said she'll work it out for me
  • Its going to be winter here!! Which means very sub zero temperatures
  • Technically I'm suppose to be tutoring astronomy students all year
  • My mom will be flying here from Auss in the winter, lots of cancelled flights
Oh the damn obligations!!
It feels like school is my largest contributing factor! BAHH
Well my orthodontist appointment is in two weeks and thats when we will find out this actual surgery date!! 
I'll just go ask the universe to figure this one out for me because I am lost!!
In the meantime I'm going to go study and use this whole jaw thing as a good excuse to keep eating ice cream :) Whats the point in trying to look attractive when I have an underbite, braces, and will soon look like I got hit by a truck? Thats just logic to me :P
Hope everyone is doing good :)

Friday, September 23, 2011

Braces Update

Hey guys. I made a video yesterday. I also went to my orthodontist today to see what we could do about the horrible tmj pain I'm having.
Basically at this point nothing can really be moved or i'm just going to have more pain.
Originally I had planned to do the surgery in april or may, but because of the amount of pain i'm having I've decided I'm going to do the surgery at the closest available date instead. I'll somehow make it work with school because I am at a point where my headaches and tmj pain are so frequent its affecting my everyday life.

This is in no way rushing the actual process, as I was already going to be surgery ready by december, I just didn't want to do it at that time for a combination of reasons. At this point I am weighing the pros and cons and I would rather do it sooner than later, depending on when I can get a surgery date.
Hope you guys are doing well.
Thanks for all your support and comments.


Thursday, September 22, 2011

TMJ pain and underbite/crossbite

Hey guys!
So my TMJ is hurting allll the time now. I sort of feel like my bottom jaw is shifted to the left and its really causing a lot of pain. The images are mirrored so the left is your left. I'm getting a lot of headaches. Chewing hurts and it also makes my jaw really tired and sore. I hear a lot of cracking in the tmj when I open my mouth. At this point the surgery is 7 months away. I know its not very far but I wish it was sooner. I really want it out of the way. My underbite is becoming more noticeable. I'll try to post some better pictures when I get a chance. Its pretty amazing how fast time goes by. I started looking into this process 7 months ago, so its been about halfway to surgery from that point. 

The time goes by really fast and one day you seem to wake up with a really horrible bite and realize that you're getting a lot closer. My open bite has closed a lot, which is a relief because it was really effecting my speech. I notice my speech improving with my bite closing which is soooooo nice. I don't feel that weird about the braces anymore since I know I'm getting closer and closer to saying goodbye to them. 

I'm going to the orthodontist on oct 17th for an adjustment, xrays and to book my surgery. I'm really excited to get new elastics because it seems that no matter what colour you get, they discolour to a degree. 

I went to the dentist a few days ago and he said I look like I've lost weight since the last visit, he said my face looks a lot thinner. I've heard this from other people too, I think its just the underbite sort of changing the shape of my face. Eating has been really hard and I try to stick to soft things or liquids. Anyway I just went for a cleaning and he was happy with the movement in my teeth, explained some stuff to me and asked me to have my surgeon send him some information. 

I'm feeling pretty exhausted with this whole pain thing. I sort of wish I could do the surgery in december, oh I wish!!!


Monday, September 12, 2011

Thank you and keep in touch

Just a quick little post here
I just wanted to say thank you to all the amazing people I have come across throughout this process so far, the emotional support is a lot more important than I ever thought it would be.
I just want to tell anyone out there who is feeling down about it, or is just questioning everything right now that everything will get better.
Its amazing how we can't predict what will happen in life.
There were times early in this process when I thought I had it all and everything was going for me. Then came times when everything fell apart, when I couldn't stand my family, and there were personal issues evolving and relationship issues. There were times when I realized how important some people are and how some people were never there for me in the first place.
Its an amazing journey and I still wouldn't trade it for the world.
I've become closer to people who value me and appreciate me for my good and my bad. People who accept me the way I am and don't want me to change anything about myself.

Please do this much for yourself, if someone is bringing you down through all this, don't let them in, don't let them affect the way you see yourself. This is a huge challenge, having your appearance change, and the pain involved and all the other emotions and fears. There is nothing easy about it, but we chose this for a reason, because we know we're important enough to deserve the best quality of living and we want to be the best we can be.

Be strong and when you feel down, remember the people who pick you up.

Also, I have a lot of readers who have been really awesome and if any of you want to stay in contact with me either to talk about jaw surgery or just because we've gone through similar experience and found each other supportive, I am more than happy to stay in contact via facebook or email.
My email is I don't check it too often, maybe once a week or more, but I should be found on facebook via this email address too.

I hope you guys are having a nice transition away from or into summer depending on where in the world you live. I value you all so much more than you'll ever know.


Thursday, September 8, 2011

Underbites and blah blah blah

Hey readers. I have noticed now in pictures how noticeable my funny bite is getting. Not very fun!!
Anyway, I'm trying to look forward to having it fixed and not focusing so much on the current.
I know my other posts were all over the place, but me and my bf did actually break up about 2 weeks ago. I thought it was very supportive of him to break up with me once I decided to undertake this whole process and once I started to feel insecure about my appearance. Just thought it was nice to know he would be there.
Anyway here are some pictures of my funny bite. Enjoy, while I go enjoy feeling socially awkward and count down the days to looking normal!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011


Hey everyone, this is a video I took on monday as an update. There seems to be a lot of progress when it 
comes to my jaws. I've just recently started getting TMJ pain again, it subsided for a while but now I feel a 
lot of tension on both sides of my jaw. I'm hoping this doesn't get any worse and that I can manage it as my surgery is still a bit away.

the braces aren't so bad anymore, I feel less like they have become a part of me and more like they are 
transition just helping me get back to who I am.Just for those of you know don't know, my bite started to 
open a couple years ago, it stayed pretty closed,or compensated I should say, up until then. I started 
getting a lot of pain at that point and I didn't understand why it was happening. I'm looking forward to 
this process.
A big eye opener hit me today. I was responding to a youtube comment and I saw that the video 
(my open bite) which was my first jaw video was posted by me 6 months ago!! I can't believe its 
been that long since I started this process!the past 6 months have been the most challenging times for me. 
I really had to learn to deal with a lot of new things and realize that this transition is temporary.

I am very grateful for all the support I have received from my viewers and followers, and from those people 
in my life who have reassured me along the way. I had no idea how much I was taking on by undergoing 
this process. I really do wish the surgery was sooner, and although my teeth may be ready, I have to wait 
a couple more months from when I will be ready. Its not too long really.

I go back to school next week and I will be very busy with that. I have one final left from my summer 
courses that i had to defer, so that will be around the end of september. The thing I like about school 
starting up again is that it keeps me so busy that the year will go by so fast and before I know it I will 
be updating about my recovery.I don't fear the risks or complications anymore, I'm not worried about 
the possibilities, just ready for it to be done.

Life is really teaching me to have patience right now and I've recently learned so much about myself 
and the type of person I am. I have to admit, I am so proud of myself for being everything I am and 
for never letting myself down or trying to be someone I'm not. Someday I know my big heart and my 
compassion and devotion will do me good. Right now it feels like its only brought me more pain, but I 
really believe that someday I will be appreciated by someone. Maybe 2012 will be my year, maybe 
turning 25 will be my change.

Someday everything will be better

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Braces Adjustment Update (August 2011)

Hello Hello!

Me and my nephew Miko 

I am sitting here with a jar full of M&Ms. My favourite chocolate.
I just got back for the orthodontist not too long ago. I do have some news, not a lot of news, but still news.

First off, I found out that my bite is coming together very well and I will be surgery ready sooner than expected. This time a new orthodontist was there, along with Dr G(my awesome orthodontist). Anyway the assistant changed all my elastics and I have 4 teeth that are wired around the bracket to help move them faster. The assistant was one I haven't had before and she was so nice, I really hope I get her again.

I talked to the new orthodontist who was very relieved to see that I am having jaw surgery, he initially got scared when he saw my bite. He said it looks like its coming along well. Then Dr G wanted to see me and how my progress has been. He said that my bite looks better than expected and that next time I go in we will do some type of special appointment where I will have more x-rays taken and they will check to see if any f the brackets need to be adjusted. At this time I can BOOK MY JAW SURGERY!!!

I'm really excited about this, as you can tell. My bite looks so different now too. Its totally different from the past few months and from what it was before I had the braces. I'm really excited to see how it changed come my next appointment. At this point, my next appointment is on October 17th, I might have to change it depending on school since I'm still picking up courses. Anyway thats in 9 weeks.

Other Stuff

So I start classes again in a couple weeks and I have an exam left from the summer that I had to defer. I don't know when this exam is going to be, so that sucks. Other than that things have been good. I stayed downtown with the boyfriend for our two year anniversary. Tonight we're going to have a BBQ and I'm hoping I can at least chew a little bit after this adjustment. My little pookie bear might have a bath tonight since he is a smelly little guy. 

I'm going to make a video showing my bite one of these days so everyone can see how much it changed.  Maybe I'll put a clip from my old videos in it as a comparison. Oh and I want to show the massage techniques that I learned. Its very cool, I had no idea that a RMT could work on the jaw! I'll be going back to her pre and post op to help my muscles go back to normal and hopefully help gain mobility faster. 

I have had a lot of people ask in my videos about speech therapy, but I haven't started that yet. I'm going to wait until I have the surgery so that I can actually put my tongue where its suppose to go. My thrusting has improved though, and I really suggest that anyone in this early process try to correct that on their own as early as possible. Its a pain at first but its gotten a lot easier. 

Monday, August 15, 2011

Massage therapy and my jawssss

Hey Everyone!!

I just wanted to make an update regarding something pretty cool. I went to get a massage today, and to my surprise, there are massages for the jaw and mouth area. She taught me how to massage the muscles around the TMJ and other areas of the mouth since I've had a lot of tension in there areas which has been causing really bad headaches and pain. I'll explain the exercises in a video when I have time. 

I'm going for an adjustment on wednesday. I'm pretty excited about that! Hoping I can book my surgery!!
Some quick updates since my last video. Me and the bf are good. According to him we never broke up. Anyway we worked out our issues and things have been really good. Tomorrow is our two year anniversary. Hoping for a nice and relaxing day! 

I'll update on thursday once I know whats happening with my braces, and jaws and all that jazz. 

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Not much to say

Hey everyone!

I have been making a lot less videos and blog posts the past while as everything has sort of slowed down. The surgery is still far enough away that I don't really feel like its happening. I have to admit I'm sort of forgetting about it which might not be the best thing when the time comes.

Right now I have two teeth at the front that just touch if I push my bottom jaw to the left and as far back as it will go, its a really gross feeling since my teeth haven't touched in years. Feels like they're going to grind each other down or something. Other than that I don't notice any huge changes in my teeth. My jaw does make a horrible cracking noise every time I yawn. I've been really careful not to open it too wide when taking or eating and it's helped me avoid a lot of headaches.

Classes are over now and I have exams in a couple weeks so I feel nice and relaxed just staying home preparing for those. I have to admit I don't feel like Terra since having the braces on, I feel like i'm stuck in this in between time where I sort of don't try my best to look my best because the braces are always right there. Although I like my face to some extent i'm very excited for this surgery. My nose is very narrow and because my top jaw is further back, whenever I force my lips closed, it pulls the tip of my nose downward. I would loveeee for my nose to turn up a little and maybe even widen out a bit.

I had a dream last night that I was in this hospital that looked really old and I was talking to a surgeon who was going to do my jaw surgery. This surgeon wasn't my actual surgeon Dr C, so it was just weird.

Oh heres some news!! We got another dog!
For those of you who don't know this, I love love dogs. I have a really big heart when it comes to animals, part of the reason for my vegan ways. None of my dogs were purchased in pet stores, they were all in need of homes because other families didn't want them anymore. The new dog is 8 months old and hes a shih tzu X coton, he is very hyper compared to my other two who are 10 years old. His name is Bowser and the woman who had him was going to take him to an animal shelter, and no little dog deserves that.

My other two are Tommy and Pookie. Tommy is a shih tzu, we got him at 7 weeks old when someone we knew bought him as a christmas present for her kids and then they didn't want him anymore after a couple days. Tommy is my baby, he's 10 now and I can't imagine my life without this dog. Pookie came about 4 years ago, and was probably about 6 years old at the time. He has lived with two different families and was sent to a shelter both times. He is a miniature shih tzu and is possibly the cutest dog in the universe. He is a fur ball!!! He has become good friends with Tommy and they play together all the time